My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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