Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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