Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
