I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
