There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
