with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
