Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
