Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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