i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
