so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
