Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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