and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
