btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
