Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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