booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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