Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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