just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
