I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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