and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize