one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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