They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
