theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
