how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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