If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
