You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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