I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
bring money and cleavage
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
