Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
