# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
