May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He is an equal opportunity slut.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
