my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
