I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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