don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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