Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
