He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no you cant smoke seaweed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
