we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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