I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
