I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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