so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
