well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Randomize
