he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
