Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.

Fav 6 2029 1374
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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.

Fav 7 1922 821
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(281): View more from Texas

And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.

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(450): View more from Quebec

If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.

Fav 12 1619 883
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(702): View more from Nevada

Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts

Fav 0 28 3
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(765): View more from Indiana

Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire

Fav 0 38 41
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