My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
