I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
