I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
