I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize