I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
