Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
