In the future we'll all be gay
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
