I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
