these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
