He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
