it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
