you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
