I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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