She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
