I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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