I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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