Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
