Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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