The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
