I don't usually arrange sex via text message
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
