i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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